Happiness comes in a lot of forms and it can be hard to define. However unhappiness is easy to identify. You know when you see it, you know when it’s taken ahold of your mood, and you know when you feel it.
Unhappiness is a terrible feeling that is lethal to everyone around you. It spreads easily and brings down the positive vibes of others. Why do we ignore the high levels of negativity? Happiness tends to be something that people think is out of their control; however it is the complete opposite.
Happiness has very little to do with life circumstance. Happiness is under your control. Happiness is the product of your habits and outlook on life. Poor habits and looking at the world through a depressive lens will result in unhappiness. Positive coping mechanisms and a general optimistic outlook on life will result in happiness. Break the poor habits now and achieve your happiness sooner!
Holding a grudge about someone is like carrying around a weight. It holds you back from being truly happy even if you think it is pushed in the back of your mind. It will always be there bugging you and causing you negativity. It can be very had to move on from someone who hurts and betrays you; however not letting go of the past will delay you from experiencing your future fully. Let go of whatever grudge you have been holding onto. It will help you feel lighter and happier. Avoid holding grudges at all, and instead learn healthy coping habits when dealing with toxic friendships.
When someone feels chronically unhappy, they tend to avoid other people. This is a terrible idea as socializing, regardless if you don’t initially want to do it, is great for your mood. We all have days where we feel like hiding underneath the covers and not coming out into the world for a day. When this becomes a rule instead of an exception, it becomes a mood destroyer. Take time to analyse when unhappiness is making you antisocial and force yourself to get out there and mingle with some friends. You will be able to tell a difference right away!
Waiting for the Future
One surefire way to keep yourself unhappy is by focusing on a future that isn’t attainable. Telling yourself “I will be happy when…” is one of the easiest habits to fall into. It does not matter how you end the statement (better job, new relationship, or something similar). The statement puts too much emphasis on circumstances and improved circumstances do not lead to happiness. It’s important to not spend your time waiting for something that’s proven to have no effect on your mood. Instead, focus on learning to be happy right now, in the present moment. Be mindful of all the things around you and list things you are grateful for today.
Happy people know that complaining about situations won’t do any good nor will it change the problem you’re facing. Happy people realize that to fix something you have to take action, not complain about it. People who are constantly complaining give off a negative energy that affects the moods of everyone around them. If you are someone that has the default belief that life is hard and out of your control, you may be seeing yourself as a victim. This is a problem where the person will feel helpless. Instead of focusing on how unfair or awful a situation is, think of a way to turn it around. Look for the positives, do not play yourself as a victim, and think of ways to take appropriate action.
People who gossip are constantly causing insecurity and unhappiness in themselves and those they talk to. When someone is not satisfied with their own life they will focus on the lives of others. They look to find the most negative things to say about others so that they feel better about themselves. They may feel jealous and harbour resentment towards a person they see as having a better life than them. Constantly comparing your life to someone else’s will only lead to depression. A happy and confidence person, however, has no need to gossip. If one is truly happy, they are focusing on all the positive things in their own life instead of trying to bring others down. They know that good luck and circumstances are merely signs of what they too can aspire to achieve.
Blowing Problems Out of Proportion
Bad things happen to everyone, it is a basic fact of life. There is a huge difference in how unhappy and happy people react to negative problem, however. A happy person will see the problem for what it is – a temporary bummer or sad moment in their life. Whereas an unhappy person will see anything negative as further evidence that life is out to get them. They react pessimistically and take the situation personally. A happy person is upset if they have a fender bender on the way to work, but they keep things in perspective: “What a hassle, but at least it wasn’t more serious.” An unhappy person, on the other hand, uses it as proof that the day, the week, the month, maybe even their whole life, is doomed.
Lack of Self-Improvement
Because unhappy people are pessimists and feel a lack of control over their lives, they tend to sit back and wait for life to happen to them. Instead of setting goals, learning, and improving themselves, they just keep plodding along, and then they wonder why things never change. Happy people will set goals to better themselves and improve their lives. For example, a happy person may set a new fitness goal and become excited to try new exercise and recipes. An unhappy person automatically will believe that they are unable to accomplish such a task and prepare themselves for failure before even attempting.
True self-love can take a long time to develop but we cannot be truly happy without it. By realizing that your self-worth contributes greatly to your happiness will allow you to be more comfortable and confident in your own skin. That confidence radiates to others! Those with low self-confidence are more likely to look for an outlet to help them feel better, and typically these vices are detrimental. Drugs, alcohol, gambling, or engaging in unsafe sexual behaviours are all ways that further deepen our unhappiness. These people look at all of their flaws and feel they have a lifetime of regrets. Focus on the root of your unhappiness and begin to do positive things that make you feel better. Treat yourself like you treat your very best friend – kindly and with love.
Write down and analyze your negative habits that are causing you to be unhappy. Changing your habits in an effort to become happier is one of the best things you can do for yourself! Taking control of your happiness makes those around you feel happier, too. So get out there and take a new positive view on life.