Tuesday, 30 May 2017

Bouncing Back from Family Betrayal

people family dinner

The shock of being betrayed always catches one off guard. People wear many faces, and snakes take different paths depending what suits them. Life and things happen, people screw up—but this time it was not an office snitch—it was family. Oy vey is right. So, lift the head up darling, because you have to deal with it head-on, and with strategy. Just like grief, betrayal has its own stages of denial, hurt, and anger.

Step Back
Ouch, you didn’t see that one coming. Before roughing anyone up, make sure they betrayed trust, and you’re not misconstruing anything out of past bouts with the person. Meaning, take a breath, and a step back.
Recover
So it is true, they’re a rat. After you have calmed down, find someone who can be objective and not involved. Then you can devise a plan to deal, or decide it is time to move on. If you will be around these people at family functions, that might not be an option. Make a plan to recover. This helped me, reassess who is really important in my life.
Express it
If crying helps do it, or expressing the hurt through a journal works, do it. Many people go running, or other exercise to relieve the stress. What is your outlet? Personally, I like to talk and pray with people about the situation, or riding my favorite horse, go jam to some tunes, or go to the beach.
Forgive
We move to the next stage of forgiveness. The sound of their voice makes you want to slap them, but we are not acting on it, right? We need to do what we can to repair for your own sanity. There is a science to forgiveness. Forgiving will keep you healthy, and is good for well-being. Give up the pain, and playing the judge.
Stop Playing the Victim
View yourself as the helper, not the victim. Throw it away writes Dr. Carmen Harra. “Try this exercise: write down on a piece of paper your worst case of betrayal. Capture the emotions, describe the terrible moment, and highlight the magnitude of the event. Get it out of your system, no matter how long ago it occurred.”

Beliefnet.com

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