My
father has always said we’re not Americans. Americans have presidents. We
don’t. We were carted over here from a land far away and don’t know the way
back, but we’re not Americans. Americans are white people or Red Indians or
Hispanics. And only white people have a president in the White House.
And my
father would talk of the struggle. He would chastise me for taking life too
easy, for not realising what they had to endure in the day. Have you been told
to sit at the back of the bus? Have you ever been denied the right to a free
education? Have you ever been looked down upon? Have you ever been called
‘boy’?
No, I
reply. I explain to him that that was a long time ago, before and during the
struggle. America is different now. This is our home now. We are Black
Americans.
But he
won’t have it. There are Americans and there are black people. Black people
come from Africa.
Are
there any white Africans? He asked, I shall hope not.
I
didn’t want to tell him about the white settlers of South Africa who are proud
to call themselves South Africans. That would only provoke a lengthy debate I’m
afraid his mind can’t handle.
My
father is old and senile. Alzheimer’s is wrecking his mind as the years take
their toll. But he still thinks he knows it all. He still goes on about the
struggle and the civil rights movement of the sixties like it was yesterday. In
his confused mind there is still segregation, racism and inequality.
He goes
on. So can you drink in the Whiteman’s bar or go out with his daughter? Doesn’t
the Whiteman pass you over for promotion at work or hold you back? Does the
Whiteman make black peoples films in Hollywood?
Does the Whiteman let you make laws to govern America?
My
father, in his confused state, would argue and argue. We were not Americans, he
would say. We were just unwanted guests. We were brought here against our will
and now they can’t get rid of us. As a token of their hospitality they have
labelled us ‘Black Americans’ but we’re not. Only white people are Americans.
So what
will it take for us to be American.
My
father looked at me with his good eye, the other had long succumbed to glaucoma
and he can’t see out of it. He mustered up all his concentration, as much as
the Alzheimer’s would let him do. His lips mumbled as he formed the words.
The
day we have a black boy in the White House, he began, is the day we become
American.
He laughed
a laugh that brought a throaty cough from the depths of his chest. It hurt him.
Even though it caused him much pain to laugh he must have thought it was worth
it. A black boy in the White House? Impossible!
I let
him finish. I watched him take a sip of water to soothe his cough. I waited
till he was quiet and calm. I waited until he was attentive and focused.
Father, I began, there’s one there right now.
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